with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
