Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
