now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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