drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
