don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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