Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
