just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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