Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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