Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
3 2 1 whiskey
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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