Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize