We're like a lot better than the average bears
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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