Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
