you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
