We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
