kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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