who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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