I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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