no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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