Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties