I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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