She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
