Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.

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(443): i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it. http://tfl.nu/j4pq

Replies (10) Good night (1224) Bad night (4625)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".

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(870): I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible". http://tfl.nu/e3k3

Replies (43) Good night (7666) Bad night (1517)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.

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(205): Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi. http://tfl.nu/x4zy

Replies (43) Good night (1652) Bad night (4060)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?

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(513): He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like? http://tfl.nu/ctij

Replies (17) Good night (4654) Bad night (1046)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.

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(816): Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me. http://tfl.nu/4boe

Replies (15) Good night (4356) Bad night (1041)
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(713): View more from Texas

I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.

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(713): I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me. http://tfl.nu/01pr

Replies (6) Good night (1268) Bad night (713)
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(623): View more from Arizona

I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.

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(623): I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me. http://tfl.nu/we23

Replies (5) Good night (1406) Bad night (609)
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(210): View more from Texas

im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!

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(210): im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!! http://tfl.nu/zroi

Replies (36) Good night (1272) Bad night (2058)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom

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(503): Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/09st

Replies (9) Good night (1617) Bad night (547)
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(989): View more from Michigan

We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!

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(989): We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right! http://tfl.nu/l472

Replies (4) Good night (1552) Bad night (409)
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(360): View more from Washington

Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...

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(360): Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one... http://tfl.nu/mmlz

Replies (2) Good night (796) Bad night (396)
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(251): View more from Alabama

Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.

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(251): Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile. http://tfl.nu/y0n1

Replies (4) Good night (949) Bad night (351)
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(734): View more from Michigan

You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.

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(734): You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them. http://tfl.nu/p5zk

Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (565)
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(646): View more from New York

How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him

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(646): How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him http://tfl.nu/cz2z

Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (260)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.

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(843): ...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us. http://tfl.nu/7j26

Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (594)

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