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• (124): View more from

  Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left

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• (845): View more from New York

  my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe

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• (406): View more from Montana

  let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts

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• (518): View more from New York

  I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b

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