And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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