I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
