Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
