Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
