i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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