I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
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Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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