# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
