Soap is not a condiment
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
