what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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