WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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