i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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