They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
