Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The Olympian is in my bed
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
