I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
