hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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