i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
