I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize