so that wasnt chicken after all
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
