The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Randomize
