tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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