trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
