im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
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he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
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I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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