paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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