I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
