So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
