hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
