absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
