So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
