Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
