Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
