Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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