The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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