I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
