If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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