her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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