OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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