so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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