You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
