it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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