What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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