just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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