My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
