just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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